On Being Kind
When I was in first grade, we had an alliteration assignment where we had to come up with a descriptive word about ourselves that started with the same letter as our first name. Well, as you can imagine, the letter K did not lend itself well as a descriptive word. While my options were few, I quickly came upon a word I was satisfied with: kind. I've always thought of myself as someone who tries hard to think of others' feelings and to try to be as nice as possible. Albeit, children make many mistakes in this area. But, I had the good fortune to grow up in Hawai'i, a diverse and wonderful place, that taught me I am not better than anyone else. Hawai'i taught me to treat everyone around me the way I wish I had been treated. Well, a lot of time has passed since those almost carefree days, growing up in Hawaii. I am an adult now, and life and people (in general) are not always as kind to me as I would like. This past year especially has been a really rough one for me and unfortunately, I think it has led me to close myself off more and to think of others less.
Recently, after being called "rude" by a family member, and then later laughing at something someone said, that they did not mean to be funny. I have found myself in a state of self-reflection. If someone called me rude, and then a bit later, I did something I, myself, would consider rude. Maybe there is some truth to it. Maybe I have unconsciously let myself drift into a place I don't want to be.
Unfortunately, in the world that we live in thinking of others before ourselves is not common. Were it not for having children, I think few of us would come to understand what true selflessness, sacrifice, and loving someone more than yourself really means. Our world cares more about "me" and self-preservation. When really, we reap what we sow, and the world would be such a happier place if we treated others the way we wished to be treated.
The recent movie, Cinderella, comes to mind when her dying mother tells Ella "Have courage and be kind." I love this quote because I think it takes courage to choose kindness over-responding how we may want to or have the first inclination to respond. It takes courage to disengage in a conversation that demeans another. It takes courage (and restraint) to turn the other cheek when someone has done something unkind to us. It takes courage to go out of your way, to do something nice for someone else. And it takes courage most of all, to forgive.
When did society become so self-absorbed? When did we decide that being "good" or "right" was more important than the way we treat others? And most importantly, how can we reverse the way a good portion of our society acts? Well, I believe, like Gandhi, it can be as simple as deciding to start with yourself. Kindness is infectious, and it's almost impossible to not be kind to someone who is kind to you. Sincere compliments can melt the hardest of hearts. It may not come naturally at first, in fact, for some of us it takes serious effort, but eventually, it will flow with ease because it will become part of you.
Lastly, I want to mention that it is all good and well to treat strangers and people we don't know very well with kindness, because frankly, we usually have no reason not to, or our interaction with them is so limited that it's easy enough to let go of something they did or said. But with family, especially those we interact with on a daily basis we are truly tested. How do you treat the people who love you more than anyone, and who you love more than anyone? It should be a no-brainer, but unfortunately, many of us find difficulty treating those dearest to us with the same kindness and courtesy that we give to strangers. Whether it is because we see all of them, the good and the bad, or whether it is because we feel we can be open or blunt with them, there is no excuse to treat our family with contempt, anger, frustration, belittling, and yes, rudeness.
In conclusion, treat those around you—especially those dear to you—in a way that makes you proud.
"Be the change you want to see in the world"- Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony" -Gandhi
Recently, after being called "rude" by a family member, and then later laughing at something someone said, that they did not mean to be funny. I have found myself in a state of self-reflection. If someone called me rude, and then a bit later, I did something I, myself, would consider rude. Maybe there is some truth to it. Maybe I have unconsciously let myself drift into a place I don't want to be.
Unfortunately, in the world that we live in thinking of others before ourselves is not common. Were it not for having children, I think few of us would come to understand what true selflessness, sacrifice, and loving someone more than yourself really means. Our world cares more about "me" and self-preservation. When really, we reap what we sow, and the world would be such a happier place if we treated others the way we wished to be treated.
The recent movie, Cinderella, comes to mind when her dying mother tells Ella "Have courage and be kind." I love this quote because I think it takes courage to choose kindness over-responding how we may want to or have the first inclination to respond. It takes courage to disengage in a conversation that demeans another. It takes courage (and restraint) to turn the other cheek when someone has done something unkind to us. It takes courage to go out of your way, to do something nice for someone else. And it takes courage most of all, to forgive.
When did society become so self-absorbed? When did we decide that being "good" or "right" was more important than the way we treat others? And most importantly, how can we reverse the way a good portion of our society acts? Well, I believe, like Gandhi, it can be as simple as deciding to start with yourself. Kindness is infectious, and it's almost impossible to not be kind to someone who is kind to you. Sincere compliments can melt the hardest of hearts. It may not come naturally at first, in fact, for some of us it takes serious effort, but eventually, it will flow with ease because it will become part of you.
Lastly, I want to mention that it is all good and well to treat strangers and people we don't know very well with kindness, because frankly, we usually have no reason not to, or our interaction with them is so limited that it's easy enough to let go of something they did or said. But with family, especially those we interact with on a daily basis we are truly tested. How do you treat the people who love you more than anyone, and who you love more than anyone? It should be a no-brainer, but unfortunately, many of us find difficulty treating those dearest to us with the same kindness and courtesy that we give to strangers. Whether it is because we see all of them, the good and the bad, or whether it is because we feel we can be open or blunt with them, there is no excuse to treat our family with contempt, anger, frustration, belittling, and yes, rudeness.
In conclusion, treat those around you—especially those dear to you—in a way that makes you proud.
"Be the change you want to see in the world"- Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony" -Gandhi
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